SOUND OFFLatitude,..48 N. Longitude,..128 W.
Back from the underground.This is Leif, your imbedded reporter out here on shifting sands of the reality front. In the interest of putting some distance between now and that manifesto posted below, I offer the following.
Some of you may recall that I had hoped to offer a report on last summer’s canoe journey. The following has a lot to say about the journey….“The Spirit of the Ancestors”
Canoe Journeys, 2004
photos by Joe Finn.
"Song of the Sea, a Cappella and Unanswered"
NY Times, December 21, 2004
By ANDREW C. REVKIN
Imagine roaming the world's largest ocean year after year alone, calling out with the regularity of a metronome, and hearing no response.
Such, apparently, is the situation faced by a solitarywhale, species unknown, that has been tracked since 1992 in the North Pacific by a classified array of hydrophones used by the Navy to monitor enemy submarines.
The animal is called the 52 hertz whale because it makes a distinctive stream of sounds at around that basso profundo frequency, just above the lowest note on a tuba.
Its sonic signature is clearly that of a whale, but nothing like the normal voice of the giant blue or the next biggest species, the fin, or any other whale for that matter, said Mary Ann Daher, a marine biologist at the Woods Hole Oceanographic Institution on Cape Cod.
Ms. Daher is part of a team built by Dr. William A.Watkins, a pioneer in marine mammal acoustics who died in September, that has spent years trying to eavesdrop on the largely hidden lives of whales.
In the current edition of the journal Deep-Sea Research, members of this team report that all signs are that the sounds come from a single animal, whose movements "appeared to be unrelated to the presence or movement of other whale species."
The 52 hertz whale may be maturing, since its voice has deepened slightly over time, Ms. Daher said. A gallery of sounds, including the call of 52 hertz, can be heard at www.pmel.noaa.gov/vents/acoustics/spectrograms.html.
Team members and other experts have proposed a host of explanations for the whale sounds, among them that the animal is malformed or, most likely, is a hybrid of a blue whale and another species.
Ms. Daher said that as word of the paper has spread, she has gotten a host of e-mail messages, some from whale lovers lamenting the notion of a lonely heart of the cetacean world. Some messages have come from deaf people speculating that the whale might share their disability.
Dr. Kate Stafford, a researcher at the National Marine Mammal Laboratory in Seattle, said there were reasons to believe that the whale was healthy.
"The fact that this individual has been capable of existing in that harsh environment for at least these 12 years indicates there is nothing wrong with it," she said. But she agreed that there was something poignant about the finding.
"He's saying, 'Hey I'm out here,' " she said. "Well, nobody is phoning home."Copywrite 2004 New York Times company
http://www.nytimes.com/2004/12/21/science/21whal.html?ex=1104660855&ei=1&en=59b30a5b0586e176NY Times says Tsunami Kills White People, Too!
As we become callous to the plight of earth’s majestic creatures, we continue to ignore our spiritual connection to all life forms. As we ignore our stewardship roll in nature’s web, we are able to turn a blind eye to the unanswered calls of an unknown species of whale.
Name: 52 Hertz… Nothing more, forever…
If only we had worked harder at preventing realities like the former from happening… perhaps we would be more sensitive to the well being of all life forms, including mankind.
Environmental neglect makes it inevitable that Nature’s rampages will be that much more devastating.
Perhaps the funds and foresight would have been available to place instruments of warning around the Indian Ocean as they currently are around the Pacific Ocean.
Perhaps, as a caring people, we would have worked harder to help relieve some of the destitute situations that societies are forcing to congeal on marginal foundations. Witness our wanton capitalism, environmental neglect, war, and the flip side of a down trodden people with no hope, terrorism.
Perhaps we would have tried harder to resolve a peaceful solution to the Iraq situation…
Perhaps money would have been available to have done something preventive.
And just perhaps there would not have been the level of hatred directed at us that is so rampant today.
And so we exit 2004…
The shrub at the helm for another four years…
Note: In posting the below rant the “Defense” chapter was inadvertently omitted. It has been inserted in its original location.The scream was cathartic….
I’m better now…..
I think…..
MANIFESTO!
from the desk of Capt. Leif E. Knutsen.
(Warning, the following contains some adult language/themes.)Global Warming-----Not Happening?
To those who say that the present warming trend is just a natural fluctuation and not attributable to the “hand of man,” I say the following:Mankind has had to endure sudden major climate shifts in the past.
The collapse of many civilizations in the past can be attributed to climate shifts.
Two hundred years of scientific data and thousands of years of anecdotal data show the earth presently in a warming trend which is both significant and obvious.
Climate changes happen all the time to a greater or lesser degree (local drought or increased rain etc.).
All weather, large or small is driven by temperature differences and ultimately by entropy.
The total energy input of the earth is regulated by the solar output.
The solar output fluctuates over time. This output, short wave radiation is measurable and is being measured at this time. (The verdict: no major changes, perhaps a slight long term decline.)
The earth radiates energy back into space in the form of long wave radiation and it is measurable.
Many substances are known to allow easy passage of short wave, solar radiation, and hinder long wave passage, heat. (Glass is common but others occur naturally in the earth’s atmosphere, most notable being water vapor, methane, ozone and CO2. Pound for pound some are many times more effective than others.)
The percentage of CO2 in the atmosphere has shown a consistent relationship to temperature over many a measurable millennia.
Current data show a persistent and obvious warming trend with the CO2 concentrations coinciding.
Large temperature shifts lead to more severe weather incidents. Just as a large tide will promote more turbulent water.
More energy in a system will lead to more severe weather anomalies.
All of the above statements one knows intuitively or are easily verifiable.
If you held a fiduciary responsibility that required the repudiation of any of the above facts you would be libel.
In fact they would be liable even if another or even all other investors disagreed.
Here is the point in the argument when the GOP change the subject to gay rights, abortion, gun ownership, flag burning, TERRORISTS, Clinton’s blow job, anything but the next item.
That said can any money manager of large public retirement fund invest large sums of public money in ventures that would substantially add to the CO2 total, especially when alternative investments are available?
The American South West is currently four or five years into a drought that appears to be more severe than the dust bowl drought and one must go back over five hundred years to see the like. Past history pegs a natural cycle of 10 to 20 years for droughts to run there course. The historical record shows that this warming trend is intense and beyond the norm. How willing are you to invest your money in perhaps a Los Vegas gulf course or other water sensitive investments at this time. Would you think it right if your retirement fund manager wanted all of your retirement in water sensitive investments in this area at this time? If he insisted in doing so, would you consider him abrogating his fiduciary responsibilities?The following is a series of emails written to Terry McAuliffe of the Democratic National Committee. He asked for public comment on what to do next . . . .
So you want feedback?
I do not consider myself morally superior; however I do consider myself better informed and have a stronger desire to practice the politics of inclusion as opposed to division. I follow with a letter that I recently wrote to a republican friend of mine.
If you think that the nation has not lost all ability for rational judgment how can you explain a single mom, working a minimum wage job with no health benefits and tips if she is lucky, voting GOP?
Debt. It is interesting to note that a billion dollars is about 4 dollars for every man, woman and child in the nation. If you subtract the people that are too old or to young or to rich or too poor to pay taxes, that leaves about 50% of us to pick up the tab. Eight Dollars per billion. Want to make that a trillion like we have just given away and counting. That is eight thousand bucks for the likes of me, plus interest I might add. Interest alone is enough for a first rate education system. Where is the money for schools, police etc. going to come from. Shit it costs us 30,000 a year to send someone to prison, we could damn near send them to Harvard with that kind of money. Probably could on a bulk rate if the GOP would allow bargaining.
It would seem rational to me that the greatest jobs incentive move would be universal health care. What corporation would not want that burden off there shoulders? You would think the GOP would want a contented work force, especially since they are saddling us with all that debt. But NO. We get 45 million uninsured and climbing. Half the number of flu shots requested by the health department and the largest percentage of GDP going for health care in the world. What a deal… Joan, (my wife), a health care worker, recommended and entitled to a flu shot opted out so the truly needy would have one more available. Just like our esteemed Emperor so valiantly offered to do. How about you? Are you going to take your chances or could you afford to zip up to Canada? Two suppliers and both off shore? What a joke. Out source jobs and outsource money. And you wonder why I am cynical? Who do you think is making money on the “shortage”? Not me….
I wrote the below to a friend of mine earlier today and pass it on to you to give a sense of my thoughts:
Three quotes have been rattling around in my brain, none of which bode well for this sorry assed country.
ML King….”When decent becomes impossible, revolution becomes inevitable”.
T Jefferson?....”Revolution is societies method of dealing with compound interest”.
Unknown….. “Never underestimate the power of stupid people in a large crowd”.
It looks fairly ominous to me.
Of course if all else fails we have global warming to fall back on. Oh boy…
However another quote comes to mind and I do not know the author but I heard Nada use it the other day, “The only battle worth fighting is the one that you lose and lose and lose, and finally win.”
It is the shits though when one of the only avenues of legal protest left open is voluntary poverty.
Try not to feed the bitch.
I do not think that real change can come from the political front any way. My guess would be “big money,” public retirement fund managers and such. These folks have a fiduciary responsibility to invest our public retirement money wisely. In the past they have invested by only looking at the percent of return but ENRON and the likes have opened there eyes. They realize that they have to start to look at the long term viability of there investments. Environmental legacy, worker relations, etc. People like Elliot Spitzer of NY are also making serious dents into that “business as usual” mentality. These are not dumb people and awareness travels fast. A few jail terms help as well…
So how do we have to show corporations that being good stewards of the world’s resources is good for all. How do we make capitalism work for humanity and not to just make the rich, richer. When is enough, enough?
Perhaps it is only fair that it collapse on Bush and the GOP in all there glory. If history lives to tell about it there legacy will be an educational bench mark of hypocrisy for the ages.
On and on it goes….
Remember climate change will kill you and yours as well as me and mine. It may take a little longer as you no doubt have more money to insulate yourself but all the double talk and spin will be in vain. Remember as well that Nature bats last…P.S.
Money: This election cycle I donated far and away more money to political action causes than ever before. I am a seasonal worker and jobs have been scarce yet still I have managed to contribute about 500 dollars a 10 to 15 fold increase over my past history. Trust me IT WILL NOT HAPPEN AGAIN. A half a billion dollars between two candidates alone! Four billion for this election cycle! DISGUSTING.
In the future you will have to win on issues. (Note above.) I will even think twice before I revert back to my original $25.00.More Suggestions . . .
On today’s earlier email I stated that I did not consider myself morally superior, however I did consider myself better informed and I stand by that statement. Your red state/blue state breakdown holds true just as well if you substitute educated, intellectually challenged for pragmatic, moral values. It is you and yours that want to rewrite science and ignore evolution, geology, and atmospheric science. Not I. I do not care if you do not want to see the handwriting on the wall. However I do object strenuously to having to support anything other than “liberty and justice for all”.
It is people like you who actually think of themselves as “morally superior”. You continually want to divide arguments into black and white, good and evil, God and the devil. Bush and Bin La din need each other just as much now as the Right needed the Soviets of the Cold War. It is worth remembering that the Soviet Union collapsed by the US bankrupting them. Do not delude yourself, Bin La din reads the history books as well. Keep that in mind as you watch the continued hemorrhaging of money out of the US. What is going to happen when foreigners no longer want to buy our paper? When China and India, with the he help of outsourced jobs can pay a higher price for fuel than we can. Notice that the value of the dollar continues to drop and with Bush’s blessing I might add.Another thought . . . .
I am also disgusted with the way the Democratic Party treated the Nada branch.
I have been a Democrat all my voting years but I am strongly supportive of the Nada and Green Party goals. Because of the current two party systems the Democratic Party has received my support by default. You need to work to allow third party participation into the system. There are a number of approaches that allow endorsement of third party candidate’s access and recognition without me having to hold my nose to vote in order for my vote to not be an affirmative vote for the opposition.I truly feel that the Democratic Party shot it’s self in the foot by not encouraging Nada participation. The dialog would certainly have been improved. The GOP would have had two fronts to fight and if nothing else Kerry would not have looked anywhere near as liberal.
You have to work at making the Bush administration irrelevant. Now I admit that this is a tall order especially without making yourself irrelevant as well. I have a number of responses to that problem.1. The GOP has shown a strong propensity to shove the Democratic Party into irrelevancy anyway.
2. Just what has the Democratic Party done over the last number of years to earn there salary beside fight off a continual assault from the Right?
3. Hell, just say “You Win!” now can we get to some of the battles that are truly meaningful. Global warming, deficit, health care, etc. Of the above I would pick Global Warming as solutions to that would naturally lead to answers to the others. You would have world backing and support of the world as well I might add.
4. If you continue to fight the piddle ass battles you will be irrelevant in four years at any rate.
5. As much as I support the rights of gays, minorities and a woman’s right to her own uterus, let the GOP run rough shod over all and let them show themselves four what they are. It is one thing to make rules and realities and quite another to enforce them as the present “realities” attest. Make a STRONG statement of your position and move on to one over riding position, the survival of the species with a minimal disruption to the well being of humanity as a whole….
I am not very optimistic that you will be able to over ride your fears of loosing control but lets face it you have lost control. You cannot win without taking a stand on something that has meaning for even the “red states”. It is my feeling that our very survival will cross party lines. This battle means a fundamental change in the way Capitalism is practiced, (see previous emails), throughout the world and it is again a tall order, but hay, what else have you got to lose. Capitalism must be convinced that it is in there own best interest to work for the well being of humanity as opposed to making the rich richer and the poor chattel. We have to devise a system that makes social well being both meaningful and profitable.
Stay tuned. I will be sending some solutions on how to pay for some of the above.
All of this from an unemployed shipwright in the NW.
Oh where are the “Statesmen” when we need them?How to pay for social reform with the realities of a huge deficit.
So here we go again.
I am an unemployed shipwright and it is a bit presumptuous of me to offer my solutions for changing the world’s economy but what the hell, you asked for inputs and I don’t see much to be proud of coming from you folks.
Where to get the money?
1. “War Bonds” that can be bought by investors, both large and small that would only be invested in sustainable development. Green power, fuel efficiency, etc.
2. Gas rationing with an initial allotment at an affordable or even a cut rate price and all the rest at a much higher rate with the difference being invested in number one above.
3. Oil companies would be allowed a “living wage” and the gross profits that they are currently reaping would be invested in Number one above.
4. Fuel sensitive industries could be given special treatment if they agree to a cap on profits with the difference going to number one above.
5. Workers who participated in the infrastructure of no.1 would receive low wages but good benefits and secure retirement benefits and no tax burden with the difference going to no.1.
6. Doctors and health care workers that would participate in the program would be the same as no. 5
7. All teachers should be not taxed as a mater of course.
In short an “Apollo” project and WPA or CCC program all rolled into one.
Big business will not like it but you don’t have to dig very deep to show there true motivations and you can be damn sure that the GOP will scream like hell but what have they done for you?
And so it goes…Where to get the money, continued . . .
I’ll admit that I am not the brightest bulb on the street but I hold my one when it comes to problem solving. One thing I know is that you cannot solve the problem until you know what the problem is that you are trying to solve. DEFINE the PROBLEM !
If you define the problem as how to get good people into government so society can continue to function just the way that we are familiar with and you guys can get kudos for how smart you are then I am sure that you were all brilliant and I am horoned to have helped you all to the extent that I have. However you have spent about two billion dollars on our side alone and what do we have to show for it? I thought you would never ask.1. We lost power in both the House and Senate.
2. We lost three or four seats on the Supreme Court.
3. Hell you know the list. Stop when you get tired.
4. We have however eight to ten million new voters.
5. A large segment of the population are better informed and more activist than ever before. (Although attack adds work they do not educate the public and an informed public is our only hope.)
6. We have the ear of a large segment of the youth. And there are a whole lot of kids out there with no work, no money, no fucking future for Christ’ sake, that are itching for a “fight”. They lack a cause. Let me say that again in case you happened to zip by the first time. THEY LACK A CAUSE.
7. We have the infrastructure to reach out and communicate with each other that has no equal in all of history.
8. Much of the youth has not been brain washed as such. They live in fog of video, music, sex, drugs etc. I know I have “been there, done that”. Many are reaching the age when they HAVE to get out on their own. What is this society offering these forced fledglings? Minimum wage and no benefits and a chance for advancement. BFD.
9. The GOP survives by spinning new “realities” while we go off and fight a rear guard action with lawyers and appeals etc. and pick up a few scraps now and then. They have said as much for shit’s sake….
I would like to digress a moment.
What is one of the primary strategies of guerilla warfare? One is to engage the enemy in a manner that requires maximum involvement in expense, time and manpower on your enemy’s part and a minimum amount on your part. Sit back and await opportunities. To that extent Bin Laden has succeeded beyond his wildest dreams. Need I elaborate? I will anyway. A few thousand people in sandals and flip flops have caused us to spend over 200 billion and counting plus “homeland security” plus…..Bin Laden’s out lay? A few thousand poorly equipped men with stolen weapons and financed with “bake sales” and donations. Bin Laden will by all appearances bring the US to its knees. Remember that a bankrupt America is defeated America in there eyes. Just as a bankrupt USSR became a defeated country.
So now with that enlightenment I ask you to look at the way the GOP is treating you, with all do respect, poor shits.
Second rate billing on talk shows and a promise of a lot more court battles to fight. And for only $2,000,000,000. What a deal.
And you still do not HAVE A CAUSE that will appeal to more than 50% of the people. No offense, but it don’t show a whole lot to this wiz kid.
I have got to take a break. I am the house husband and I have to get supper on the table. My wife worked “graveyard” last night and expects some food.
Tomorrow I will hold your hand as we continue into the scary land of “We have never been there before”.
You may wish to engage each other on what might happen in the next installment.
Ta Ta.Reality bites.
Welcome back kiddies. With the laws the way they are nowadays perhaps I had better write a disclaimer. The following is meant for mature audiences only. Profanity will be used only when no other statement seems appropriate.
The dishes are soaking, the clean sheets are in the drier, and the wife is fed and sits with a glass of wine and a good book ready to jump into bed as soon as the sheets are out of the drier. The odds of her inviting me in for a piece of pie are slim so we can continue with our journey into the scary land of “We have never been there before”.
Reality Bites:
If you recall we ended the last installment with the Democrats sucking hind tit and scurrying around franticly looking for sustenance. (Hell you are reading this, you must be desperate). All the while the GOP gathers there strength for there next assault on the environment or some such issue that will surely take a team of lawyers and months to fight as well as lots of $$$. We will be allowed a bone or two to wet our whistle and excite us to pursue “bigger victories” in the future. They define reality and with a large output of energy, money and time we fight for scraps. Classic trench warfare. Getting kind of scary ain’t it? And only six sentences into the chapter. But hell, you are big guys, you can take it. Remember this is WAR.
The question returns, how do they do it? The Answer, in case you have not been paying attention … . They DEFINE REALITY.The GOP were perfectly willing to drag the country into years of moral trepidation, hand ringing, legal battles and expense, even impeachment our boy because got a blow job from a bimbo and didn’t want to fess up to it in public. All the while they commit so many “breaches of trust”, to be polite, that we do not know which battle to choose to fight. Even if we get a good squeeze on them they just tie it up in committee until we get tired and then move on to the next beach head. Their next REALITY. And so it goes. Sound familiar? Who gets bit? (I hope that the violence is not too much for you but these are trying times, only the tough survive.) For the squeamish, perhaps you need a break and pick up the story in the next chapter. For the hard core, we will proceed. First, another glass of wine as this is difficult on me as well. There is a possibility that I will lapse into gibberish and narrative will disappear into the dust bin of time; and that looks like a distinct possibility at the moment.
How to fight back? DEFINE YOUR OWN REALITY and stick with it thru thick and thin. Get some balls. Fight as if you meant it. Remember this is WAR. This is the future of humanity at stake. FUCK, GET MAD….Kind of scary, right?
If we must define REALITY which one to choose? We don’t have the luxury of willie nillie picking any old reality like the GOP. This reality must be supported by facts.
Ouch that one hurt.
As my pappy use to say “never go to sea in a boat that you would not be proud to have as your coffin.” This “reality” better be one that you can lay your life on the line for. Those “flip flop fighters” in the Middle East have shown there willingness to happily march off to the land of a “thousand virgins” in support of there reality. Hell they don’t even have any body armor. We expect no less from you. (Really scary now ain’t it. Trust me it don’t get any easier.)
Well the bed is made and no invites, perhaps in the morning. More wine and on we go. Perhaps even a safety break. Brace up folks.
If you have got to lay your life on the line it is nice to have a lot of support in defining your reality as the more there are of you the less likely that you will be the one that falls. ( I told you, it is getting fairly grim.) So you want a reality that others will willingly follow you into battle for. Starvation, homelessness, fundamentalism are all proven motivators but we do not have the time or resources to peruse these avenues. Besides from what I can see most of the people that we have for potential warriors can best be described as pussies. Many will fall by the way side at the first sign of blood and gore. Oh, what to choose?
Since we have mostly pussies for warriors it would seem as if it would be wise to pick a reality that promised hope and a better life, not only for our soft warriors but also to maximize defections from the other side.
It would be wise to pick a reality that not only showed a significant threat to peoples well being if left unattended but also showed potential blissful reward if a successful battle is waged. You know the old “thousand virgins” trick.
You want a reality that is so far out there that there is NO way that the opposition can spin it as there own.
It would be very nice if the chosen reality had the potential to defeat not only your immediate enemy, the GOP, but would also disarm your peripheral enemy as well. Terrorists. Carefull ! Thin ice here. It is sort of like having an atheist endorsing you.
Well have you figured out a reality for yourself or do I still need to hold your hand?
You are in luck. Fortunately there is a reality already out there that will fill all the above requirements and many more. Think of it, riches and fame beyond your wildest dreams. Well maybe not riches. Defeat of your arch rival and delegation to the dust bin of history. (More wine. It is starting to get exciting). Attempting to reverse a frightening trend toward a species extinction that rivals the end of the dinosaurs. Nobel Laureates throwing roses in your path. The intelligent and informed from around the world singing praise. The mind boggles.
Still need help???? OK
GLOBAL WARMING……
There is just one problem. -Hang on to your hat- you knew there was a catch, didn’t you.
A successful solution to the above battle will very likely lead to the demise of the Democratic Party. One that you have grown to know and love and in many cases you owe even your bread and butter to. Lets face it, your very reason for being. Hard to get much scarier than that ain’t it…
I can here you already; “help Leif, anything but that”. Brace up, remember this is WAR! Casualties are expected.
After all, if you manage to make the GOP irrelevant, there ain’t much need for you is there?
You will be forced to make a living out on the streets like the rest of us. But shit, bite the bullet, this is WAR. You can do it….
Well you are probably exhausted after all that. I know I am.
The fire is out. The house is getting cold. The pets are in. Off to the fart sake and perhaps a piece of pie in the morning.
Tomorrow more; “REALITY BITES”, chapter two.Reality Bites, part two.
……”if you feel like wakening me baby,
in the middle of the night,
to give you a taste of a piece of pie
well you know that it will be all right.
Just a little understanding when the road gets hard and rocky…
I’ll give you all the love that I got to give..
baby do you hear me talking”…Leon Russell.
Good morning All
Enough already of the gratuitous sex, we got a WAR on our hands.
It is a foggy morning; a contented wife sits on the couch with the NY Times and a cup of coffee. Your intrepid writer is at the computer.
NY Times headline, November 8, 2004…”G.I.’S Open Attack To Take Falluja From Iraq Rebels”. See, REALITY, and not a word about you. In fact you are irrelevant.
A peck or two away on my computer is this entry. http://www.abc.net.au/science/news/enviro/default.htm.
I will quote a few lines for the narrative….”vanishing (Antarctic) ice in the winter resulted in an 80% drop in the number of krill, a shrimp-like crustacean that is a major source of food for animals in the region.” The article goes on to say….”krill feed on algae under the ice sheet in the ocean but warmer temperatures over the past 50 years have meant there less ice and fewer krill.”
See another REALITY and dollars to donuts most of my readers are unaware of it. A four-fifths loss of the base of the food chain in of one of the world’s largest and pristine continents! Is that any less important than razzing a dip shit city in the middle of some dessert in order to rout out a few thousand “flip flop warriors”? Who gets the press? Who gets the shitty end of the stick?
I’ll bet you thought that after yesterday’s rant things might get better. Not a chance!
Let me recap. The GOP define the reality, you struggle to defend your position. Before you get your “ducks in a row” the GOP move on. New reality, new battle.
More attrition. You lose! At best hold your own.
Now for the sake argument let us try another tack.
“Global Climatic Disruption Leads to 80% Drop in Base of Antarctic Food Chain.”
“Vanishing Glaciers, The Summer Water Supply of the Worlds Major Rivers, Threaten Billions.”
“Unprecedented Summer Heat Wave in Europe; Estimated 36,000 premature deaths.” The list goes on.
Kind of takes the sting out of a few thousand “flip flop fighter” fundamentalists fighting for there definition of REALITY doesn’t it.
Now as a practical matter how do you get a spot on the floor without being labeled “partisan obstructionist,” “tree hugger,” or heaven forbid, “liberal environmentalist?”
It is hard to believe that I have to explain it to you but it appears I must. You do it by protecting the water we must all drink. This is a conservative value. You do it by fighting for sustainable agriculture; an economy that allows all access to food that we must all have. These are conservative values. You change the name of the Democratic Party to something less threatening. Fuck, you get RELIGION. You fight as if your very lives depended on the outcome. It does.
Now I will be the first to admit that compared to the likes of Rove, Cheney, even the Shrub our ranks are pitiful but fear not, there are many of us and few of them in spite of there 51% “mandate. All that there “mandate proves is that if you have a lot of money you can fool a large portion of society that black is in fact white.
Shrub, 9/11…”we hit the traffica”. Sp?
Cheney? “We are in the reality business”. See, they Know….
Hell, it would not surprise me if we found out that deep down the GOP know that this is a losing proposition and are frantically supporting the “stasus quo” in order to have more time to get there hands on the rest of the money. It sure looks like that to this dumb shit from the sticks. MONEY is POWER in there book.
And they trump us in the Morality Field. Very strange.
You guys wage this WAR as if it were a video game and you can reboot when things get tough. Well I am here to tell you, YOU CANNOT REBOOT. You win or die. Along with a large portion of the species of the world if it makes you fee any better.
Well I do not know about you but my blood pressure is rising. Time for a safety break…Reality Bites, chapter three.
I apologies for the typos in the last chapter, I feel pressured to get these words out quickly. The enemy is amassing at the gates. The weak, sick, starving masses of the world quake at there feet. HOLY SHIT, they even carry the endorsement of GOD! And they have a “mandate”.
Jesus, even I thought that it couldn’t get any worse than the last chapter. I must admit that some of my thoughts meandered down trails that might be too sinister for even this soul searching narrative.
Awake, we must not waste any time. Quickly now…DEFINE THE PROBLEM….We must not hesitate; throw all caution to the wind. Attack before the enemy is ready.
Pick a REALITY to endorse. Pussy foot around and you will be picked off one by one. We will lose our best and brightest…Clinton, Gore, Kerry, Daschle, who is next?
Pick a REALITY to endorse. Pussy foot around and we loose our most valued principals….freedom, justice, equality……
Pick a FUCKING REALITY, not two or three but ONE FUCKING REALITY and start fighting.
Holy shit yet again, I am shaking after that one…
In the next chapter I hope to pursue in a little more detail some of the micro-implications of the relationship between money, time and quality of life.
That sounds like it will be a lot easer to take than “Reality Bites”. I hope so. It looks promising.
Coming soon to a monitor near you. “The very thing that makes you rich makes me poor.” (J.J.Kale?) On second thought perhaps it will not be quite as benign as I originally thought. Stay tuned.Remember you asked.
Remember also that only Congress can declare war. Are you feeling irrelevant yet?
Make the bastards irrelevant……
Footnotes to Reality Bites.
In the last (?) installment I recommended that the Democratic Party change their name to separate them from past baggage. Might I offer a few suggestions to get the ball rolling?
1. Earth Angels for Humanity….Non-threatening, a taste of religion, not a bad acronym. “EAoH”. Could be a primal scream. Should appeal to the Fundamentalists in the bunch.
2. Now here is a novel one…Republican! WHOH is that one scary. Think about it for a moment. Jefferies became independent to vote with Democrats. As I recall he was praised by all but the conservatives. What would happen if you all became Republican? You would at least get a seat at the table. The conservatives would be ecstatic, we would be one of the fold. We could have non-threatening discussion on the Constitutional value of the separation of church and state. Hug, hug, kiss, kiss. Etc. Again the imagination runs amok…. Giddy even….. I do see perils down that road however. It might be a bit of time before they would trust us. They are sort of suspicious you know. There is some gray area in the ranks of the GOP and if they could vote with there “fellow Republicans” as opposed to siding with the vile Democrats, and becoming “dead meat”, you never know, some decent legislation may get accomplished.
Let your imagination run amok!
But please remember that the enemy is amassing at the gate. Time is short. We are at WAR…
Damn I just can’t seem to get out of the heavy trip.
On to “the very thing that makes you rich, makes me poor”
Ta ta.Food and Water.
Before we proceed, I would like to foot note one other scary point. Previously alluded to as “even too dark for this narrative”. What if you are not Terry McAuliffe but some CIA, FBI, “code black” data base? All cleverly designed to lure the last of the “Radical, liberal, atheist, pacifist, terrorist sympathizer,...queer lover”….out of the wood work. I would bet a smart lawyer could “cherry pick”, quote out of context, or otherwise manipulate meanings within this text and whisk me away to a secrete base somewhere in the world without access to counsel; for ever more… NOW THAT IS SCARY!!!
Oh well, at this point I can only hope that you are who are. Perhaps send me a sign. Kind of sounds like a Russian novel don’t it?
A computer that scans every email in the world looking for “suspicious” words.
Oh get off it Leif, it is not that bad.
How do I know? It is REALITY to more than one of my fellow human beings. See, There you go again…” TERRORIST SYMPATHIZER.
Goddamn it is hard to get away from that ‘Reality Bite’s chapter.
Throwing all cushions to the wind, off we go. I asked the same of you as I recall.“The very thing that made you rich makes me poor.” J.J. Kale
Here in the NW we have many Native Reservations. Some have been able to parlay their resources into a comfortable living for themselves. Other Nations are third world by every sense of the word. These third world Nations are primarily located away from “white men” areas. Parts are hard to come by and fuel is expensive. Their livelihood is dependent on their ability to get out on the water in a safe reliable manner. It would be particularly nice if the vessel did not burn much fuel and could pack a lot. Use of the traditional Native canoe is out of the question on many fronts. Currently most of the boat access is provided by skiff and outboard. Fuel and attrition is high but it is what they have become accustomed too. There is nothing else on the market.
Enter: Big Foot Marine
Here is a fairly smart, (I know I called myself a dumb shit a bit ago, which is right??) shipwright with a relationship with the Native People. “Support Vessel” for 2004 Canoe Journeys. Unemployed, no working capital, willing to work cheap as long as I knew I would be helping humanity and NOT the GOP. Since I am not with a “Faith Based” organization my options for public money is slim. Besides the paper work would kill me.
Dream, dream dream…If there just happened to be a source of “public infrastructure” money, (recall earlier chapter), available that I could qualify for and get a decent fuel efficient vessel out to these Reservations. Kits that a shop class could build themselves. I could afford to work for minimum wage if there were health benefits built in and I did not have to drive far. But look at what you get. Highly skilled talent at almost China rates. Infrastructure development in some of the most deserving parts of the nation. Immense fuel savings almost immediately and related green house gas emission savings. A vast “quality of life” improvement for the native people. A meaningful rewarding journey that I could follow for my weaning years. (Assuming they don’t come and get me in the dark of night.) No money going off to feed lawyers, insurance people and the related parasites. The money does not go over seas or even into a savings account as it would be unlikely that much could be saved at that rate. One overhead cost would be a sympathetic secretary for a short time to help with the inevitable paper work. But she/he could be one of “us” and quite inexpensive as well.
Now multiply that a thousand fold, a million fold…. If we all made the same amount of money then a national sales tax would be in order. No IRS. WOW---Think of the number of poor bastards that would be free to do something meaningful with there lives. Doing good for other people! The IRS….
I had better stop now as I am obviously becoming delirious. Perhaps some food and water will snap me out of it.
So here I sit typing this dribble for you to consume instead of building beautiful vessels to ply the waters of the still beautiful NW. Where eagles fly and salmon jump. Where the spirit sours and man does good by man. That is the REALITY that I want. Not the “boots in the night” one.
Well that wasn’t so bad, a bit rough at the beginning and certainly a bit delusional at the end but it has been a long day. The wife comes home soon and supper must be made.
What REALITY do you vote for? Are you going to stand there with your dicks on the table waiting for the GOP ax? Are you going to fight for a better world for all? You have no doubt worked hard to achieve the position of authority that you occupy. My advice is to shit or get off the pot…
Pick a Reality and fight for it one last time.
Recall, “the only battle that is worth fighting is the one that you loose and lose and lose, and finally WIN”….. and never go to sea in a boat that you would not be proud to have as your coffin.Fish Bones.
So much to say so little time… The sun has set, the floor is vacuumed, and the fish is not as yet de-boned. It can sit in the fridge, as the fridge is not that full and we were not going to eat it tonight anyway. Supper is “leftovers” from last night.Can you believe that I spent 3 1⁄2 hours on that last bit of drivel. Who said writing is easy. I could have built a small boat in the time that it has taken me to write this narrative! Even when the salmon fishing is good around here we figure four man hours per fish. See different realities and none the worse for ware.
I am a much better builder than a writer. The words come too fast for me to get them on paper. I must try…rich, poor, good, evil, heaven, hell, my God, your God, free time, work time, happy time, standing on a box with electrodes on my nuts time. Most of them seem to be a straight up or down choice.
Since you folks seem to like polls better than sex, why not try one of these. Get a thousand virgins together and ask them if they would rather live in clean air or dirty air. No cheating. No fair tying a GOP rider in it. A straight up or down poll. Get one of your left wing political sympathizing news papers to cry it in the streets. “One Thousand virgins polled … 100 % would rather have clean air”. And a nice long front page story along with it. (Maybe tie in a story of starving polar bears and their “cute little babies” not being able to get to the pack ice to hunt.) I would not be surprised that you would not get too many surprises from a similar poll on any of the other choices. Hell I bet you could even get a majority of the population of America to give a “clean air” answer.
Yet still you willingly plod off to be second fiddle on some talk show. Mooomning how you are going to pick off another percent or two off of some voting block or another for the next election. If you only ask the right questions you can get a 100% of a thousand virgins in your column. I am sure that you can find a thousand virgins someplace. You might need to import some from over seas as I hear that they keep fairly tight rein on there woman in some societies. The impact might not be the same as if you had your own virgins but I bet the vote would be the same. See…define the REALITY...Then vote.Surely there is someone out there that can be trusted to ask the right questions and only the right questions. Practice on something easy and move on to the more difficult ones latter. Have some laughs. A SEPARATE REALITY. Christ are you not getting tired if me yet. Show me a sign that you hear me and I can stop worrying about “boots at the door and electrodes on my nuts.”
If time permits I will try to put this all in one email, proof read, and a bow. Don’t hold your breath though. They may get me tonight and be coming for you soon. Practice laying your dicks in the table. You might not want to look though, it seems to me that it would be easier that way. On the other hand they might tie your head and hold your eyes open with toothpicks.Maybe even make you get it hard with a piece of pie in your face first. They have done it before. Remember poor Billy boy.
What do I know? We are obviously on new ground here.
I warned you; gratuitous sex, unspeakable violence….
Ta ta.Defense.
I'M BACK . . . sweat, palpitations, exhaustion. It is hard for an old fart like me to get it up like that very often. I needed a break.You young bucks however should have lots of staying power. (More gratuitous sex coming up), you know a good gang bang, cluster fuck oreven a roll in the hay with a loved one. In case you are not who you say you are and actually some CIA, FBI,"black box" computer somewhere, I offer the following defense. None of which would amount to a fart in a gale of wind if my name was
Mohammed, Osama bin something, with a Middle East passport, I might add. However since I am a blond, blue eyed, 63 year old Caucasian with a history of pacifism, (pussy-ism?), anti social traits, and an obvious tenuous grasp on reality, perhaps I have a chance to plead "insanity" but only if I can plead in a civilian court and not sent straight into Military court where I would be "dead meat" with a bag over my head, wires on my nuts and trying real hard not to implicate all my friends. BUT WAIT A MINUTE !!!! They don't need to torture me, I have nothing to hide. They already have the names of all my friends. They have my computer remember. Sorry about that guys. But with the exception of a few republicans on the list and thus immune, you can always say that you really did not know me that well, my emails were unsolicited, (which they were . . . a little help for your defense?) and jump up and down screaming something like ."that atheistic, commie ... SOB. If I could get my hands on him I would cut his nuts off myself"... It might be a good idea to register GOP just in case. Perhaps endorse a separate reality or two to show unstableness . . . Thecrazier the better.
I have to take a break. I have a pot of soup on the stove that needs attention. I have to de-meat the back bone of a salmon carcass that I have cooking. No shit it's true. I am unemployed remember. I have got to get some air. Go for a bike ride. Vacuum the floor. We have company coming this week.
Fortunately, I have a wife that has a job that she loves with health benefits etc. Otherwise I would be doomed to a piss ant job somewhere building cutesy pie shit for the masses that are designed to be thrown in the trash. And trying to compete with the Chinese and all. Anyway, the sun is shinning, a fresh breeze blows off the Pacific, as clean as almost any in the world I might add, beckons. My tap water comes from the snow melt of the Olympics and not recycled toilet water or worse that the majority of my fellow man must endure. Too many men, women and children of the world would be giddy with anticipation at such a sight of a similar fish carcass in there pot. The truly sad fact is that way too many will die before ever seeing such a glorious sight. And I have the audacity to wish for MORE for my fellow man! I must be delirious to wish for a different REALITY. But you see REALITY is what you perceive it to be..If you are a starving waif. (Getting fucked for bread crumbs)... etc. it is hard not to believe that "that" is not your reality, ain't it? A bunch of Monks go up to a mountain top and manage to live on "rocks and air" for centuries. Happy as a pig in shit. In fact will fight to the death for there right to do it. See a different REALITY. And I, for one, cannot see why they should not have the right to do it. Realities come and go all the time. They are "in the reality business." They said so! The "administration" throws them out all the time. The cat is out of the bag. The "Shock and awe" has worn off.
Pick a REALITY.
Just don't fuck up. I don't see many more chances.
Front page news: "the masses filling the streets,""Earth Angels of Humanity" dancing and throwing flowers, (of course we could not have any of that free love stuff, but then again who is going to enforce it.) The world rejoices as the majority get there wish that we do in fact endorse "good will
toward man. (A FUCKING conservative value if I ever heard one.) or Knocking on the door for "not end endorsing the RIGHT REALITY of the moment.The insanity plea is looking better all the time.
Ta ta
Captain Leif Knutsen
The "Thousand Virgins Offense"
Me thinks it might be worth exploring this “Thousand Virgins Offense” in a bit more detail. 200 billion and counting - If we offered to pay a mere $50,000 bucks per cherry- that would make a tidy nest egg for four million virgins. History has shown that most will end up spreading their legs for far less in reality…. What is the estimate for the total number of terrorists in the world? 10,000?
Shit that is 400 virgins per terrorist. Not quite the number promised by Allah but a tidy sum none the less and you know the old adage of a “bird in the hand”. Again, we would need an oath of non-violence as well as an oath of silence to keep the riff raff from swelling the rolls. But shit, think of it. Ten thousand terrorists off the street with smiles on there faces instead of vicious “flip flop fighters” leaving behind buildings full of slaughtered people. And for every one we splatter we make 10 more lurking in the shadows, ready to take their place….
If we were to dole the virgins out at ten a year per, (help to keep them terrorists honest), that would buy 40 years of protection. Not bad. In addition we would not have had to come up with the two hundred billion dollars in a couple of years. The costs by definition would be spread over time. We could set up a trust fund. Perhaps with the proper mind set, collective bargaining, supply and demand etc. we could even offer less than 50k. Maybe some terrorists might opt for a two for one deal of almost virgins thus lowering the costs even more.
Getting more bang for the buck if you will.
Then again perhaps you smart asses might come up with something better.
The hour is getting late and delusions run amok.
Perhaps some sleep.
If I can get the image of me standing on a box, hood over my head and electrodes hanging from my nuts out of my mind.
….while visions of sugar plumbs danced thru there heads….A Thousand Virgins, continued . . . .
I’ll bet that with the proper persuasion you could even get one or two give up her virginity to a martyr of the cause before he became so desperate that he had to blow someone up with an AK 47 or something. I’ll bet that you would not even need an electrode up her pussy to make her say yes. What a headline. Perhaps nip terrorism in the bud. “Virgins voluntarily offer cherry to terrorist that denounce terrorism”. Shit it just might work. Those god damned terrorists just seem to get stronger when you blow a few of them to smithereens. Perhaps a cash reward. I’ll bet that 200 billion dollars spent on virgins would have gotten a lot better response than the current war on terrorists. I can see some problems separating the real terrorists from the riff raff that might just be looking for a cherry. You would need some way to keep people from collecting twice. A tattoo on their forehead perhaps. Very strange. Or maybe you smart asses can think of something better. Feel free. But please don’t go to “sea in a boat you would not be proud to have as your coffin.”
This gratuitous sex and violence is starting to come too easy. I had better take a safety break.
It should look good on my insanity plea though.
Shit my lady is due home any minute and the “leftovers” are not even heated yet. Another three hours blown. At $5.15 an hour I would be $15.45 cents richer if I had a real job. Over $40 for the day but no bennies.
Very strange indeed….
Well my lady just walked in the door.
TA TA.Today’s NY Time’s headline: “Arafat Dies” See another Reality. And not a word about you poor suckers.
I don’t know about you but it seams to me that a thousand virgins storming Falluja would make a lot better headlines than the “Desert Storm” scenario. And although the battle would certainly not be bloodless it offers far greater prospect for success and has appeal to an old pacifist like me. Hell I would offer my services to help subdue any female Terrorists that might be lurking out there knowing full well that the value of a 63 year non virgin is way below that of a freshly bathed 18 year old chick. But hay, anything for the cause. Besides being cheap perhaps enough of us could keep what appears to be a relatively few female terrorists occupied until the dust settles.
Jesus, did I just say that I would volunteer for duty in Iraq and participate in a “gang bang” with a bunch of other old patriotic codgers.
Well you have got to admit it would be far better than standing on a box, hood over my head and electrodes in various orifices.
In closing?
History has shown that mankind is a remarkably adaptable species. We also know that even the bottom of a shit house is utopia to some life forms. Perhaps it is too much to ask of us old farts to learn to love wallowing around in shit for eternity but just maybe the younger generation can come to grips with it. My oldest son shows a lot more tolerance for squalor than I, having served a term as animal slaughterer on farms around here. (I recall that one of the training exercises for a terrorists is killing pigs.) If not this generation maybe the next or the next. It could be that your gene pool has just the right mutation for your offspring to look at a pile of shit and say “this is indeed heaven on earth”….
All this gratuitous sex and violence is obviously taking its toll. It appears to be the “slippery slope” that we have been warned about after all.
I need some air…..Cherry Picking . . .
Before starting the next and hopefully last chapter of this narrative I offer another disclaimer.
The following is an attempt to improve the literary quality of the narrative and although some sex and violence exists I have sought to make it both minimal and light. This abstinence has caused me to be more philosophical and as such might be a bit of a slog for the intellectually challenged.
Cherry Picking
I know it looks like a bad start but honestly, think summer, sunshine, flowers, happiness, picnics and such.
I would like you to recall that in the “Defense” chapter I pointed out that there might be moments when it would to be wise to advocate casting my gonads into the sea. Perhaps there is a lesson to explore here.
Being an atheist and all and not having spent a lifetime in scholarly study of any one particular religion, I have still been exposed to aspects of various religions.
A few observations if I may and I encourage rebuttal.
1. Most religions would prefer you not look outside there gospel for enlightenment. Fair enough – It is their religion and they get to write there own rules.
2. Some religions are more tolerant than others and will allow a sort of “look but don’t touch” attitude. Quite similar to the way some wives will allow there husbands to “whet there appetite” by looking at a foxy chick or even pornography as long as they eat at home. (I’m trying guys, honestly.)
3. Most religions would prefer you accept the whole shebang. They don’t like you to “cherry pick” the good parts on your own. That’s why they have priests and such.
4. Most religions will condone a certain amount of violence as long as it is directed in the “proper” way.
5. Some religions have a higher tolerance for violence than others.
6. Most religions contradict one another in very fundamental ways. Otherwise why all the killing between them thru out the ages?
Still with me?
The above statements appear to be well supported by observation. Again rebuttals encouraged.
So without any more to clutter our thoughts let us see if we can come to some enlightened conclusions.
A) No one religion probably has all the “right” answers. Supported by the fact that no one religion has achieved dominance over the long course of history despite a considerable amount of blood shed on all sides.
B) (Gets a little trickier here.) If your religion is first in your life then you cannot truly support democracy. How can I say that? It is my observation that no religion in the world has more members than all the others and some religions have more members than others. If democracy ruled, that would not be the case. Refer to number 1 thru 6 above as well. Consequently it would seem that democracy falls behind something. We will revisit this point latter in the narrative.
That is enough analytical thinking for now. We don’t want to pop a blood vessel.
So here I am, a self-proclaimed atheist and not beholden to any religion, thus I am truly free to “cherry pick” the good parts. Appreciative as I am of the advantage of being able to quote out of context, I will attempt to keep it simple.
What lessons can we learn?
It is written that “violence begets violence.” Now I do not know which religion this comes from but it would seem unlikely that it comes from any Middle Eastern or Western religion. Note 1 thru 6.
My guess would be an Eastern religion where there are so fucking many people that killing them all was not practical. In fairness I must point out that even that portion of the world is not without violence and all religions seem to have contradictions built in to them. It is not important where it is from anyway as I have no vendetta.
Still and all, even though we can’t live up to expectations, it does seem to be a straight forward statement with lots of historical confirmation. Recall how easy it was that given the right circumstances it might be prudent to advocate throwing my gonads in the sea. Even if only an intellectual exercise.
But I digress.
Since we can be quite sure that in most cases violence does in fact begets violence is the opposite also true?
Does good will beget good will? Here the answer gets a bit grayer. While it is true that throughout history there have been incidences where misinterpreted love has lead to violence, I believe that the majority of evidence will in fact show that good will toward man does in fact beget more good will toward man.
Now think of our Iraq policies. Very strange indeed.
On the other hand I do not recall a single religion preventing their women from voluntarily “offering themselves” in the service if the church. It is important to note that most religions reserve these “delightful spoils” to the higher up and do not appear to be very democratic in their allotment.
Recall from the news that there is a two million dollar reward for Osama bin Laden. “Dead or alive.” Given our 50k a pop for virgins previously established we could offer him 40 virgins for the same price and maybe get him off the streets. Even someone in his exalted position doesn’t get an offer like that every day. In fact if Osama just happened to say yes it would be hard to believe that 40 virgins worth their salt would not be able to usher him off into the land of a thousand virgins. Perhaps special training might be in order. Best of all the two million bucks would come back into the United States and not finance a third world “war lord” somewhere.
Ticker tape parade, 40 virgin’s heads held high basking in the glory of accomplishing what the military could not. If we threw in a few more virgins, recall that the basic “flip flop fighter" was allocated 400 virgins and it hardly seems fair, he might even leave a video to his followers…
I see it all now…
Plan cardboard back drop…
Forty naked women with bags over there heads (it is the middle east after all) and blood trickling down there legs. (They like blood over there, as near as I can tell.)
Osama with hands raised high and smiling from ear to ear…"Victory at Last…"
“My fellow fighters for Islam. Having spent these last years meditating in a cave in “Far-off-es-stan” I bring you great news, we have succeeded beyond our wildest dreams in bring the infidels to their knees. Allah has instructed me to tell you that we should conclude the violence so that mankind can truly work together for the good of mankind and the survival of the species as a whole”. (These guys are not allowed to admit a mistake. Note Bush.)
Hell with only slight modification of the above it would work for Bush as well. They would be able to give simultaneous address.
Given the information above and assuming support for most, which reality do you think would have the better chance of success in the current circumstances? Box, hood and electrodes or the Thousand Virgins offensive?
Perhaps you can come up with better solutions….“First they ignore you, then they slander you, then they fight you, and then you win.” Mahatma Gandhi
Thank you all for your indulgence.Can we make any money in the endeavor? Reality is what you perceive it to be?
I have some thoughts.Your “imbedded” reporter out here on the front lines. The dangerously shifting grounds of REALITY shaking like a bowl of Jell-O….Will I stand, or will I fall like so many of my comrades, only time will tell.
Captain Leif E. Knutsen
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